What Actually Matters in Your 20s
I recently celebrated my 23rd birthday, and it has been a whirlwind of reflection and revelation. It’s funny how certain milestones in life can dramatically shift your perspective. At six, I dreamt of becoming a teacher; by ten, I was set on being a doctor; at fourteen, I envisioned a future as a physics professor; and by eighteen, entrepreneurship seemed like my ultimate calling.
Everyone around me seemed to have a formula for success: “Get good grades and everything will fall into place.” So I diligently pursued high marks, only to hear, “Get into a prestigious college and your life will be set.” I did just that, landing a spot at one of the top universities. But even with these achievements, the fog of uncertainty didn’t lift.
From childhood, we’re given a roadmap for success:
- Get good grades → Stay out of trouble → Get into a good university → Land a high-paying job → Start a family.
Is that really all there is to life?
I’m only halfway through my twenties, so I’m not claiming to have all the answers. But I can offer a glimpse into the raw, unfiltered reality of what truly matters during this transformative decade. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:
Embrace the Journey, Not Just the Destination
In your twenties, it often feels like everyone around you is achieving milestones faster than you are. Some friends are already climbing the career ladder, others are settling down with families, and some are living out their dream of traveling the globe. It’s easy to feel like you’re lagging behind.
Here’s the truth: your twenties are less about proving yourself to others and more about discovering what genuinely makes you happy. The journey is filled with unexpected twists, highs and lows, and detours that shape who you are. Instead of fixating on where you think you should be, focus on personal growth and self-discovery.
Pursue Passion with Purpose
Here’s a little secret: I have a degree in engineering. After investing a small fortune into this degree, it made sense to follow the conventional path — land a job, earn a paycheck, and move up the ladder. I did that, but the joy was missing. The daily grind of waking up before dawn, commuting hours, and working in a soulless environment was taking a toll on me.
So, I took a leap of faith and pivoted to what truly excited me. I started working on projects I was passionate about and connected with a global community. The transition wasn’t easy; I faced unemployment and uncertainty. But it was the best decision I could have made. Your twenties are the time to explore your passions. Make mistakes, take risks, and pursue what makes your heart race.
Take Good Care of Yourself
Here’s an absolute must: don’t compromise your health. Your decisions and habits now will shape your future self. Use your energy to stay active, eat nutritious foods, and prioritize mental well-being. It’s easy to get caught up in work and social obligations, but remember, your health is the foundation for everything else.
Dreams Require Sacrifice
Big dreams come with big sacrifices. Achieving your goals demands hard work and dedication. You’ll need to say no to certain things and make tough choices. Friends might be out partying, but you’ll need to prioritize your commitments. Remember, every sacrifice brings you closer to your dreams.
Live Like a Typical Bachelor
Make the most of this time by stepping out of your comfort zone. Seek discomfort and ask yourself if you truly need something or if you just want it. Mastering this question will save you time and money. Socialize, make new friends, and learn from diverse experiences.
Teach Yourself What School Didn’t
You might find yourself needing to learn things that weren’t covered in school — taxes, investing, and financial management. I took classes to improve my financial literacy, and it has been invaluable. Be proactive in seeking out knowledge that will benefit you in the long run.
People Will Change, Don’t Force It
As you navigate your twenties, you’ll notice changes in the people around you. Friendships might fade, and relationships might shift. It’s part of growth. People are on their own journeys, and it’s essential to accept this. Focus on nurturing the connections that truly matter and don’t force relationships that no longer fit.
Know You’re Enough
Perhaps the most crucial lesson: you don’t need to have everything figured out. It’s okay to be on a journey of self-discovery and growth. Know your worth and understand that you’re enough, even if your path isn’t clear yet.
Build Resilience Through Failure
One of the hardest truths about your twenties is that failure is an inevitable part of the process. It’s not just a possibility; it’s almost a certainty. But rather than viewing failure as a setback, see it as an opportunity to build resilience. Every failure is a lesson in disguise, a chance to reassess, adapt, and grow stronger.
The way you handle failure will define your future success more than the failures themselves.
Cultivate Meaningful Relationships
In your twenties, you’ll meet a diverse range of people. Some will become lifelong friends, while others will be fleeting acquaintances. Focus on building relationships that add value to your life and support your personal growth. Surround yourself with people who inspire and challenge you, rather than those who merely provide comfort. Meaningful relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values.
Invest in Your Skills and Knowledge
Your twenties are the perfect time to invest in yourself. Whether it’s through formal education, self-directed learning, or hands-on experiences, continually seek to enhance your skills and knowledge. The world is evolving rapidly, and staying ahead means being adaptable and proactive. Invest time in learning new skills, acquiring knowledge, and honing your talents. This will pay off in unexpected ways as your career and personal life progress.
Embrace Financial Responsibility
Financial literacy is crucial, yet often overlooked. Your twenties are the ideal time to build a solid financial foundation. Create a budget, start saving, and learn about investments. Understand the importance of credit scores and manage your debt responsibly. The financial habits you develop now will set the stage for your future stability and opportunities. It’s about more than just avoiding debt; it’s about making informed decisions that will benefit you long term.
Explore Different Career Paths
If you’re unsure about your career path, don’t be afraid to explore different options. Your twenties are a time for experimentation. Take on internships, freelance work, or part-time jobs in various fields to discover what you enjoy and where your strengths lie. You might find your passion in an unexpected place. It’s better to explore now than to settle for something that doesn’t truly fulfill you.
Find Balance Between Work and Life
The hustle and grind of your twenties can be intense, but don’t let it consume you. It’s essential to find a balance between work and personal life. Make time for hobbies, relaxation, and relationships. Burnout is real and can have long-lasting effects on your health and happiness. Prioritize self-care and ensure that your work doesn’t overshadow other important aspects of your life.
Give Back and Contribute
As you grow and succeed, remember the importance of giving back. Contributing to your community or supporting causes you care about can be incredibly fulfilling. It provides a sense of purpose and connects you with something larger than yourself. Volunteering, mentoring, or participating in community projects can be rewarding experiences that enrich your life and the lives of others.
Stay Curious and Open-Minded
One of the most valuable traits to cultivate in your twenties is curiosity. Stay open to new ideas, experiences, and perspectives. The world is vast and full of opportunities for learning and growth. By remaining curious and open-minded, you can discover new passions, challenge your assumptions, and expand your horizons. It’s a mindset that will serve you well throughout your life.
Embrace Your Unique Path
Finally, embrace the fact that everyone’s journey is different. It’s easy to compare yourself to others and feel inadequate, but remember that each person’s path is unique. Focus on your personal growth and progress, rather than measuring yourself against others. Your twenties are a time for self-discovery and laying the groundwork for your future. Trust in your journey and have faith that you’re on the right path for you.
Embrace Change and Adaptability
Change is a constant in your twenties, and learning to embrace it is crucial. You’ll face shifts in your personal life, career, and relationships. Instead of resisting change, adapt to it with an open mind. Flexibility will allow you to navigate uncertainties with grace and find opportunities where others see obstacles. Embracing change can lead to unexpected growth and new possibilities.
Develop Emotional Intelligence
Understanding and managing your emotions, as well as empathizing with others, is a key component of personal and professional success. Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, handle stress effectively, and make better decisions. Invest time in developing self-awareness and empathy, and learn to communicate your feelings constructively. Emotional intelligence can significantly impact your overall well-being and effectiveness in various areas of life.
Set Realistic Goals
Setting goals is essential for direction and motivation, but ensure they are realistic and achievable. Ambitious goals are great, but they should be broken down into smaller, manageable steps. This approach prevents overwhelm and helps you track progress more effectively. Celebrate small victories along the way to stay motivated and maintain momentum. Adjust your goals as needed based on your experiences and evolving aspirations.
Practice Gratitude and Positivity
Your twenties can be a whirlwind of experiences, both good and challenging. Practicing gratitude and maintaining a positive outlook can greatly impact your mental and emotional health. Take time to appreciate the small victories, the lessons learned, and the support you receive from others. Cultivating a positive mindset helps you navigate tough times with resilience and fosters a greater sense of contentment.
Seek Mentorship and Guidance
Don’t hesitate to seek guidance from those who have walked the path before you. Mentorship can provide invaluable insights and advice that can help you make informed decisions and avoid common pitfalls. Look for mentors who align with your values and aspirations, and be open to learning from their experiences. Their wisdom can be a powerful tool in your personal and professional development.
Nurture Creativity and Innovation
Your twenties are a prime time for exploring creativity and innovation. Don’t limit yourself to conventional paths — experiment with new ideas, explore creative outlets, and take risks. Creativity isn’t just for artists; it’s a valuable skill in every field. Nurturing your creative side can lead to breakthroughs, enhance problem-solving abilities, and bring a sense of fulfillment.
Prioritize Mental Health
Mental health is as crucial as physical health, and it’s important to prioritize it throughout your twenties. Seek support if you’re struggling with stress, anxiety, or other mental health challenges. Don’t shy away from therapy or counseling; these resources can offer significant benefits. Establish healthy coping mechanisms, practice mindfulness, and engage in activities that promote mental well-being.
Enjoy the Present Moment
Amidst all the planning and goal-setting, don’t forget to enjoy the present moment. Your twenties are a unique and vibrant time in your life. Cherish the experiences, relationships, and opportunities you have right now. Living in the moment can bring a greater sense of joy and fulfillment, and it helps you appreciate the journey you’re on.
Cultivate Financial Wisdom Early
Building on the earlier point about financial responsibility, it’s crucial to develop financial wisdom early on. Learn about budgeting, investing, and managing debt from a young age. Start saving for retirement, even if it feels far off. The earlier you begin, the more time your money has to grow. Financial literacy will empower you to make sound decisions and achieve long-term financial stability.
Find Your Purpose and Passion
Lastly, take time to explore what truly drives you. Discovering your purpose and passion can be one of the most fulfilling aspects of your twenties. It’s not always easy to pinpoint, but engaging in activities and pursuits that resonate with you can lead to a deeper sense of satisfaction and direction. Pursue what excites you and aligns with your values, and let it guide your choices and aspirations.
Embrace Your Unique Journey
As you navigate your twenties, remember that this decade is a deeply personal journey, uniquely yours. The expectations, comparisons, and societal pressures are mere background noise to the symphony of your life’s experiences. Your path may twist and turn in unexpected ways, and that’s not only okay — it’s what makes your journey extraordinary.
In this period of rapid change and self-discovery, you have the power to shape your own narrative. Embrace the challenges, relish the victories, and learn from every step along the way. Each moment of uncertainty, each leap of faith, and each breakthrough is a testament to your growth and resilience.
So, what truly matters in your twenties? It’s not about fitting into a predefined mold or achieving a checklist of milestones. It’s about exploring who you are, what you value, and how you want to impact the world around you. It’s about forging connections, finding joy in the everyday, and crafting a life that reflects your true self.
As you journey through this transformative decade, let curiosity be your compass, passion your fuel, and self-compassion your guide. Celebrate your progress, embrace your uniqueness, and know that the best is yet to come. Your twenties are a canvas waiting for you to paint your masterpiece. Make it vibrant, make it meaningful, and above all, make it yours.