Are Friendships Dead In The Modern World

You know, sometimes I feel like the whole concept of friendship is just… off lately. Maybe it’s because I’m older, or maybe people have changed, but friendships seem to be way more complicated and less genuine than they used to be. It’s like the rules have shifted, and I didn’t get the memo.

Honestly, when someone new asks to be my friend, my first reaction is, “No thanks, I’m good.” And that often gets labeled as rude or stuck-up, but I’ve just become so picky about who I let into my life. It’s not that I don’t like people; I just don’t have the energy for friendships that don’t feel real anymore. And lately, a lot of them don’t.

I’m not sure if it’s just me, but it feels like modern friendships have turned into some kind of strange performance, where everyone’s following an unspoken script I must’ve missed. There are a few things that really get under my skin about the way friendships seem to work now:

The Friendship Tax

You might call it a “one-sided friendship,” but I like to think of it as a friendship tax. And I swear, if I see one more post about how friends are supposed to understand you ghosting them for weeks on end, I might lose it.

It seems like people today only care about what they get out of a friendship, not what they’re willing to give. Like, I know someone who never acknowledges my birthday, but she still expects a gift from me every year. How does that work? It feels like there’s this unspoken expectation that one person should always be the giver, while the other just sits back and enjoys the ride. And after a while, that starts to weigh on you.

I get it — life gets busy, and we can’t always be 100% available. But if the friendship feels more like a chore than a connection, maybe it’s time to rethink the dynamic.

The Aesthetic Friend

And then there’s the whole “friendship based on aesthetics” thing. You know what I mean — the friends who seem more interested in how you look in their Instagram photos than how you actually are as a person.

I had this one friend who was always showing off her “baddie” friends online, while in real life, she barely even acknowledged me. It was like she had this idea in her head that her friends needed to fit some perfect, curated image. One time she asked me for a video for a TikTok challenge, but when she posted it, I wasn’t in it. When I asked why, she just shrugged and said she’d “forgotten.” Sure.

These days, it feels like friendships are more about how good they look on social media than how real they actually are. And that’s just sad. I miss the days when friendships were about connection, not just content.

The Expectation of Blind Loyalty

Here’s another thing I’ve noticed: some friends want blind loyalty. They want you to agree with them no matter what, even when they’re dead wrong. It’s like they expect you to overlook their mistakes, and if you don’t, you’re the bad guy.

I saw this tweet once that said, “If my best friend tells me she’s going back to her toxic ex, I’m supporting her, no questions asked.” Really? I’m sorry, but if my friend keeps running back to someone who’s obviously bad for her, I’m not going to stand by and watch. I’m going to call it out.

There’s a limit to loyalty, especially when it crosses into enabling bad behavior. Friendship shouldn’t be about blind support; it should be about honesty, even if that honesty is tough to hear.

The Silent Treatment

And don’t even get me started on the silent treatment. Why do people think that just cutting off communication is an acceptable way to deal with issues? Instead of working through problems, it’s like everyone’s default reaction is to ghost each other and hope the problem just goes away.

But guess what? It doesn’t. And all it does is leave one person feeling confused and frustrated, while the other pretends like nothing happened. I’m at the point where I’m too old for that nonsense. If you can’t talk things out like an adult, then maybe we’re not meant to be friends.