You ever look around and think, “Wow, friendships really aren’t what they used to be”? Because lately, that’s been my vibe. I don’t know if it’s the age I’m at, or if people just shifted into some strange new reality, but the way friendships operate these days feels… off. It’s almost like the deeper connections we once had have been traded in for something more surface-level, something that doesn’t hold the same weight or meaning.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met someone, and within minutes, they’re like, “We should totally be friends!” And I’m standing there thinking, “Nah, I’m good.” Maybe that makes me sound cold, but it’s not that I’m anti-social. I’ve just learned that not all friendships are created equal, and not every connection deserves the label of “friend.” These days, you have to be selective, because a lot of friendships feel more like transactions than real relationships.
The Take-But-Never-Give Dynamic
I’ve got a major bone to pick with the whole “one-sided friendship” thing. You know, the type of friend who expects you to always be there — texting first, making plans, offering support — but somehow, when it’s your turn to need a little effort or care, they’re MIA. It’s like they’ve got an invisible balance sheet where all the effort should flow one way — toward them. And when you finally get tired of it and pull back a little, suddenly you’re the bad friend.
It’s exhausting. Friendships are supposed to be mutual, not this never-ending cycle of giving without receiving. But for some people, the idea of give-and-take in relationships seems foreign, and if you’re not constantly pouring into their cup, they act like you’ve betrayed them.
The “Aesthetic” Friendships
And let’s talk about these so-called friendships that are more about “the look” than the connection. We’ve all seen it — the curated Instagram posts, the TikTok videos where everyone’s vibing like they’re living the dream. But scratch the surface, and a lot of those friendships are built on nothing more than how good you look in a group shot or whether you fit their idea of “cool.”
I had a friend once who was obsessed with her friend group looking a certain way online. She had this image she wanted to maintain — every post had to scream “we’re the hottest, coolest crew.” And if you didn’t fit into that aesthetic, you were basically invisible. It wasn’t about genuine connection; it was about putting on a show. And the second I didn’t fit the part, I was cut out of her little social media parade. It’s wild to think that friendships are being reduced to whether or not you’re “Instagram-worthy.”
The Need for Blind Loyalty
And then there’s the whole blind loyalty thing. Some people want friends who’ll back them no matter what — no questions, no challenges, just unconditional support even when they’re clearly in the wrong.
I’ve seen it too many times: a friend makes a series of terrible decisions — whether it’s going back to a toxic ex, making harmful choices, or just treating others poorly — and they expect you to clap for them. It’s like they want a cheerleader, not a real friend. But that’s not how friendship should work. Real friends tell you the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, because they care about you enough to want what’s best for you. If you’re only looking for people who will blindly support everything you do, even the bad decisions, then what’s the point?
Silent Treatment Instead of Communication
And finally, there’s the silent treatment. This one drives me crazy. Instead of talking things out like adults, some people just shut down. They’ll disappear, go radio silent, and expect everything to blow over without ever addressing the actual issue. And when they do eventually resurface, it’s like nothing ever happened, leaving you feeling like the only one who even cared about fixing things.
Friendships, real ones, aren’t perfect. Conflict is bound to happen, but ignoring it and hoping it’ll go away doesn’t make anything better. It just creates resentment. I’ve had friendships fall apart not because of the conflict itself, but because we never actually dealt with it. When people refuse to communicate, it’s like they’re saying the friendship wasn’t worth the effort in the first place.
So yeah, maybe it’s just me, but friendships these days seem a lot more complicated than they should be. It’s like the foundation of what made friendships great — honesty, mutual care, actual communication — has been replaced by superficial connections and unrealistic expectations. And the truth is, I’m over it. I’d rather have a handful of real, deep connections than a hundred so-called friends who don’t know the first thing about what it means to actually be there for someone.
If friendships are going to feel like this, I think I’ll pass.
You ever look around and think, “Wow, friendships really aren’t what they used to be”? Because lately, that’s been my vibe. I don’t know if it’s the age I’m at, or if people just shifted into some strange new reality, but the way friendships operate these days feels… off. It’s almost like the deeper connections we once had have been traded in for something more surface-level, something that doesn’t hold the same weight or meaning.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met someone, and within minutes, they’re like, “We should totally be friends!” And I’m standing there thinking, “Nah, I’m good.” Maybe that makes me sound cold, but it’s not that I’m anti-social. I’ve just learned that not all friendships are created equal, and not every connection deserves the label of “friend.” These days, you have to be selective, because a lot of friendships feel more like transactions than real relationships.
The Take-But-Never-Give Dynamic
I’ve got a major bone to pick with the whole “one-sided friendship” thing. You know, the type of friend who expects you to always be there — texting first, making plans, offering support — but somehow, when it’s your turn to need a little effort or care, they’re MIA. It’s like they’ve got an invisible balance sheet where all the effort should flow one way — toward them. And when you finally get tired of it and pull back a little, suddenly you’re the bad friend.
It’s exhausting. Friendships are supposed to be mutual, not this never-ending cycle of giving without receiving. But for some people, the idea of give-and-take in relationships seems foreign, and if you’re not constantly pouring into their cup, they act like you’ve betrayed them.
The “Aesthetic” Friendships
And let’s talk about these so-called friendships that are more about “the look” than the connection. We’ve all seen it — the curated Instagram posts, the TikTok videos where everyone’s vibing like they’re living the dream. But scratch the surface, and a lot of those friendships are built on nothing more than how good you look in a group shot or whether you fit their idea of “cool.”
I had a friend once who was obsessed with her friend group looking a certain way online. She had this image she wanted to maintain — every post had to scream “we’re the hottest, coolest crew.” And if you didn’t fit into that aesthetic, you were basically invisible. It wasn’t about genuine connection; it was about putting on a show. And the second I didn’t fit the part, I was cut out of her little social media parade. It’s wild to think that friendships are being reduced to whether or not you’re “Instagram-worthy.”
The Need for Blind Loyalty
And then there’s the whole blind loyalty thing. Some people want friends who’ll back them no matter what — no questions, no challenges, just unconditional support even when they’re clearly in the wrong.
I’ve seen it too many times: a friend makes a series of terrible decisions — whether it’s going back to a toxic ex, making harmful choices, or just treating others poorly — and they expect you to clap for them. It’s like they want a cheerleader, not a real friend. But that’s not how friendship should work. Real friends tell you the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, because they care about you enough to want what’s best for you. If you’re only looking for people who will blindly support everything you do, even the bad decisions, then what’s the point?
Silent Treatment Instead of Communication
And finally, there’s the silent treatment. This one drives me crazy. Instead of talking things out like adults, some people just shut down. They’ll disappear, go radio silent, and expect everything to blow over without ever addressing the actual issue. And when they do eventually resurface, it’s like nothing ever happened, leaving you feeling like the only one who even cared about fixing things.
Friendships, real ones, aren’t perfect. Conflict is bound to happen, but ignoring it and hoping it’ll go away doesn’t make anything better. It just creates resentment. I’ve had friendships fall apart not because of the conflict itself, but because we never actually dealt with it. When people refuse to communicate, it’s like they’re saying the friendship wasn’t worth the effort in the first place.
So yeah, maybe it’s just me, but friendships these days seem a lot more complicated than they should be. It’s like the foundation of what made friendships great — honesty, mutual care, actual communication — has been replaced by superficial connections and unrealistic expectations. And the truth is, I’m over it. I’d rather have a handful of real, deep connections than a hundred so-called friends who don’t know the first thing about what it means to actually be there for someone.