Why Some Girls Secretly Wish They Could Be Boys (My Girlfriend’s Confession)
The other day, my girlfriend dropped a secret on me that I didn’t see coming. We were talking about gender roles and societal expectations when she suddenly said, “Sometimes, I wish I could be a boy.” At first, I didn’t know how to react. It felt like she was opening a door to something deeply personal, and I was curious. So, I asked her why. Her reasons were far more complex than I had imagined, and it got me thinking.
Here’s a breakdown of the thoughts that she, and likely many other women, have when they say they want to be a boy.
1. Freedom From Judgement
She told me that one of the most exhausting parts of being a woman is the constant judgement. Society scrutinizes everything — from how women dress to how they behave. She admitted feeling like she always has to present herself in a particular way. “If I were a boy,” she said, “I wouldn’t have to think twice about what I’m wearing when I leave the house.”
There’s an undeniable pressure for women to conform to beauty standards, maintain certain behavior, and meet expectations that men simply don’t face at the same level. Men can be casual, and no one cares. For women, it feels like there’s always an audience watching and evaluating.
2. Career Advantages and Gender Bias
As we discussed more, it became clear that she felt men are often treated with more respect, especially in professional settings. “People don’t second-guess a man’s competence as much as they do a woman’s,” she said. “In meetings, it feels like men automatically get listened to, while women have to work twice as hard to prove they know what they’re talking about.”
Gender bias is something a lot of women have to face, particularly in male-dominated industries. Even when women achieve success, there’s this underlying notion that they’re fighting an uphill battle compared to their male colleagues. The idea of being a man, with the privilege of being taken seriously without extra effort, was something that really appealed to her.
3. Safety and Physical Autonomy
The issue of personal safety came up during our conversation. She explained how frustrating it is to constantly be aware of her surroundings, especially at night. “If I were a boy, I wouldn’t have to worry about walking alone after dark,” she told me. “Men don’t think twice about these things.”
The sad reality is that women face greater risks in public spaces and often have to take extra precautions. From clutching pepper spray to avoiding certain areas, there’s a sense of hyper-awareness that women live with daily. The idea of being a man — of not having to constantly be on guard — is a form of freedom that many women secretly long for.
4. Less Emotional Policing
Another point that came up was emotional expression. “Men are allowed to be blunt, even angry, without people saying they’re overreacting or being ‘emotional,’” she said. Women are often labeled as too sensitive, dramatic, or hysterical, especially in heated situations. For my girlfriend, the freedom to express frustration or assertiveness without those labels was something that she felt men take for granted.
5. Social Expectations of Motherhood
Perhaps the most revealing part of our conversation was her struggle with the pressure of being a future mother. She said, “Women are expected to want kids, and if they don’t, people treat them like they’re broken.” She admitted that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to have children, and being a man would remove that societal expectation. “Men don’t have that clock ticking over their heads. If they don’t want kids, no one cares. But for women, it’s always a conversation.”
6. The Double Standards in Relationships
In romantic relationships, the double standards can be overwhelming. “There’s still this weird expectation that the woman should do more emotional labor,” she said. “Men can be praised for doing the bare minimum in relationships, like cooking dinner once or helping around the house.”
She felt that if she were a man, the expectations around caregiving, nurturing, and managing household dynamics wouldn’t be as intense. She could just be without constantly being evaluated on how “supportive” or “attentive” she is as a partner.
A Gendered World, An Imbalanced Life
What started as a light-hearted conversation revealed some deep-seated truths about how society treats men and women differently. When my girlfriend said she wished she could be a boy, it wasn’t about rejecting her femininity. It was about wishing she could experience the world without the constraints, expectations, and dangers that come with being a woman.
Her confession highlighted how much work still needs to be done to create equality between the sexes. Until then, many women, like my girlfriend, will continue to quietly wonder what life would be like if they could walk in a man’s shoes, even if just for a day.
This conversation was an eye-opener for me, and it made me realize that even though I can’t fully understand what it’s like to be a woman, I can certainly empathize with the struggles they face and the reasons why someone might wish for a different reality.