For the past decade, I’ve been navigating male-dominated spaces, from tech to aviation, while sharing my experiences on social media. One thing I’ve consistently noticed is how men often expect women to justify their presence in these areas.
“You have a degree in engineering? What can you do with a soldering iron?”
This kind of questioning is all too common, and it’s frustrating. So, let’s tackle something important: “Why don’t we see more women in these industries or hobbies?”
Hey there, let’s break this down. The answers usually pop up in the comment sections of those questions, and spoiler alert: they’re often not what you think.
I’ve seen this question asked countless times, accompanied by men sharing their “expert” opinions on why women supposedly aren’t interested. Seriously? Can you explain how you’re wired to love drones while assuming I’m not?
Here’s something many men overlook: women have their own groups for these hobbies. Often, these spaces are men-free, and there’s a reason for that. The frequent question, “Why don’t we have more women?” often leads to more women-only groups, which isn’t a coincidence.
Men are quick to voice their thoughts on how women work — or supposedly don’t work. It’s as if we’re all one big puzzle with interchangeable pieces. Meanwhile, when a guy strolls into the conversation, he rarely faces the same scrutiny.
When I express my interests in tech or gaming, I’m immediately bombarded with questions that feel more like interrogations.
“You like that band? Name every member!”
“You’re into drones? Have you built one?”
“I can’t believe you’re an engineer; prove it!”
Yet, if a guy mentions his hobbies, he receives a fist bump instead of a grilling. Why is that?
Now, before you say “not all men,” I’ll point you to the countless discussions about this topic. Sure, it’s not every man, but let’s be real — it’s a significant number.
Is it possible that some men are gatekeeping their hobbies without even realizing it? Maybe they’ve absorbed narratives from their friends or social media that dictate what women can or can’t enjoy.
Is it really so hard to believe that some women love “male” hobbies? Can beauty and ambition coexist, or do we have to choose one over the other?
The Pressure to Prove Ourselves
Why do women constantly feel like we need to prove ourselves? I started flipping the script: when someone asks me to name five songs by a band, I counter with, “Can you name five parts of the female anatomy?”
Shouldn’t they know if they’re so passionate? The responses I receive are usually a mix of confusion and silence.
Why is it assumed that women can’t possibly know or enjoy certain things? And why do some men think they have the right to question our worthiness in the first place? I’ve gathered a few things that have been said to me that made me feel less than human, simply because of my gender or appearance.
The Impact of Expectations
Let’s get real for a moment. The expectation that women should constantly validate their interests and abilities takes a toll on mental health and confidence. It creates an environment where women feel like impostors in their own lives, forever needing to prove they belong.
Think about it: how many times have you hesitated to share a passion because you anticipated the questioning that would follow? It’s exhausting. Instead of fostering genuine connections over shared interests, we’re often stuck in a cycle of defensive posturing.
I remember the first time I joined a local tech meetup. I was excited to discuss my projects and network with like-minded individuals. Instead, I found myself on the receiving end of a barrage of “prove it” questions. Instead of camaraderie, I felt like I was standing trial.
The Power of Solidarity
But here’s where it gets interesting: the dynamic shifts when women connect. In spaces where we can share our passions without judgment, magic happens. We empower each other, sharing knowledge and experiences freely. The environment is inclusive, supportive, and uplifting.
It’s essential to highlight the importance of female solidarity in breaking down barriers. When women come together, we ll p look l can challenge the status quo and push back against the narrative that we don’t belong. We create safe spaces where questions are met with encouragement rather than skepticism.
So, to my fellow women navigating these spaces: find your tribe. Seek out those who lift you up rather than tear you down. Build communities that celebrate your passions without the need for justification.
Shifting the Conversation
The responsibility doesn’t solely lie with women, though. Men must also recognize their role in changing the narrative. If you see a woman being questioned or judged unfairly, speak up. Challenge the assumptions that persist in these discussions.
It’s time for men to actively participate in creating a culture that respects and values women’s contributions without the need for constant validation. The next time you encounter someone questioning a woman’s expertise, take a moment to reflect on your response. Are you adding to the pressure or contributing to a more inclusive environment?
Embracing Authenticity
At the end of the day, we all want to express ourselves authentically. Women should feel free to share their interests, skills, and experiences without the weight of societal expectations. It’s about embracing individuality and celebrating diversity.
So let’s work together to dismantle these outdated notions. Let’s foster conversations that empower rather than belittle. We need to shift the focus from proving worth to recognizing and appreciating each other’s unique contributions.
Women are not here to prove anything. We are here to thrive, to share our passions, and to connect with others who share our interests. It’s time to create an environment where everyone feels valued and respected, regardless of gender.
To the men reading this: your support can make a world of difference. Stand with us, challenge the norms, and together, let’s cultivate a community that celebrates everyone’s journey.
Thanks for sticking with me through this conversation. I genuinely want to hear your thoughts — let’s keep the dialogue going! And if you think I’ve earned that coffee, don’t hesitate to treat me.
Keep following for more discussions on navigating these spaces and making them better for everyone involved!