What my business school journey taught me about modern dating
Last night, over wine and takeout, my girlfriends and I found ourselves diving into the same conversation we’ve had a thousand times before. Sarah, newly single after ending things with a guy who couldn’t match her ambition, sighed into her glass of Merlot: “Am I being too picky, or are the guys just… not keeping up?”
I felt that in my soul. Two years into my MBA program, I’ve watched this story play out like a broken record — not just in my life, but in the lives of nearly every successful woman I know.
Here’s the thing: We’re not asking for billionaires or movie stars. We’re asking for equals. Partners who can match us intellectually, who have their own goals and dreams, who aren’t intimidated by our success but inspired by it. Is that really too much to ask?
Let me throw some tea at you: In my business school cohort, 64% of women are single, compared to just 34% of men. And it’s not because we’re all buried in our textbooks playing hard to get.
My friend Jessica, a senior consultant at a Big Four firm, recently went on a date with a guy who spent the entire evening explaining her own industry to her. The kicker? He worked in retail management. The mansplaining was so intense, I could feel my blood pressure rising just hearing about it.
Can we talk about this phrase for a hot second? Because I’m so tired of hearing it that I could scream.
Last month, a guy I’d been seeing for a few weeks hit me with this gem after I mentioned my upcoming promotion. Like, sorry not sorry that my career goals don’t revolve around making you feel like the main character in my story?
The Real Talk No One Wants to Have
Here’s what I’ve noticed, and my girlfriends agree: While we’ve spent years investing in ourselves — getting degrees, building careers, developing emotional intelligence — a lot of guys seem stuck in a time warp where being the breadwinner was enough.
But it’s 2024, baby. We don’t need breadwinners. We need partners who:
- Can hold intelligent conversations about more than just sports and crypto
- Have their own aspirations beyond climbing the corporate ladder
- Understand that emotional labor isn’t just a feminist buzzword
- Are secure enough in themselves to celebrate our wins
After countless brunches dissecting this topic, I’ve reached a conclusion: We’re not too picky. We’re finally picking ourselves.
My friend Maria put it perfectly over mimosas last Sunday: “I’d rather share my Netflix password than share my life with someone who expects me to shrink myself.”
But it’s not all doom and gloom. There are amazing men out there who get it. They’re reading, they’re growing, they’re unlearning toxic patterns. They’re showing up as equals in their relationships.
The problem isn’t that these men don’t exist — it’s that they’re as rare as finding a matching sock in the dryer.
So What’s the Answer?
Look, I’m not here to male-bash or claim I’ve got all the answers. But I do know this: We need to stop asking if educated women are too picky and start asking why society isn’t pushing men to level up in the same ways it pushes women.
To the men reading this: We want you to win. We’re rooting for you. But please, for the love of all things holy, read a book that isn’t about cryptocurrency or how to “hack” your morning routine.
And to my sisters out there navigating this mess: Keep your standards high. You’re not asking for too much. You’re asking for what you deserve.
Because at the end of the day, I’d rather be single and thriving than coupled and shrinking.
Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.