And I Know Everyone Can Relate
Let me start by saying I love my boyfriend. Really, I do. But sometimes, oh my God, he makes me question my sanity. There are little things he does — or doesn’t do — that drive me absolutely insane. And when I talk to my friends about it, I realize I’m not alone. Apparently, all boyfriends share a universal “annoying traits” handbook.
So, here’s my rant. Feel free to nod along if you’ve been there too.
1. The Selective Hearing Problem
Why does my boyfriend hear me perfectly fine when I whisper “Let’s order pizza,” but conveniently goes deaf when I say something like, “Can you clean the sink?”
It’s like his ears are programmed to filter out anything that remotely sounds like a responsibility. I could be shouting, “Hey, we’re out of toilet paper!” and he’d still be scrolling on his phone like I’m speaking another language.
2. The “I’ll Do It Later” Guy
The phrase “I’ll do it later” is the bane of my existence. Later could mean five minutes, five hours, or five days. Most of the time, it means never.
Me: “Can you take out the trash?”
Him: “Sure, I’ll do it later.”
Two days later, the trash is still sitting there, staring at me like I’m the fool for believing him.
3. The Gaming Obsession
Why does every boyfriend act like they’re competing in the World Gaming Championship? He’ll ignore texts, forget to eat, and even dodge sleep just to finish some level that probably has no real-world significance.
And let me tell you, the number of times I’ve heard, “Just one more game, babe,” could fill an entire audiobook. Spoiler: it’s never just one more game.
4. The Clothes-on-the-Floor Phenomenon
Why is it so hard to put dirty clothes in the laundry basket? It’s right there. Like, right there.
Instead, his clothes are spread across the room like an abstract art installation. Socks under the bed, jeans on the chair, shirt dangling off the door handle. If I wanted to live in chaos, I’d move to a frat house.
5. The Half-Assed Apologies
When he knows he’s messed up, he’ll apologize — but not without that tone. You know the one. The “I’m only saying sorry because I want this argument to end” tone.
Me: “You really hurt my feelings when you forgot our plans.”
Him: “I said I’m sorry, what more do you want?”
An actual apology, dude. Maybe some effort? A little empathy? Is that too much to ask?
6. The Forgetfulness
Dates, anniversaries, the fact that I told him we had plans tonight — poof, gone from his brain. But ask him about the plot of some obscure TV show he watched five years ago, and he’ll give you a detailed synopsis.
Priorities, my guy. Let’s work on them.
7. The “I’m Fine” Act
When he’s upset, he refuses to talk about it. But when I’m upset, he expects me to lay out a detailed PowerPoint presentation explaining every emotion.
Him: “I’m fine.”
Me: “You’ve been sulking for two hours. Are you sure?”
Him: “I said I’m fine.”
Yeah, sure. Fine. Whatever you say.
8. The Eternal Optimism About Broken Things
The sink is leaking? He says, “I’ll fix it.” The car is making weird noises? “I’ve got it covered.”
Spoiler alert: he does not have it covered. Two weeks later, we’re calling a professional to fix whatever he “fixed” in the first place.
9. The Inexplicable Chillness
Why does nothing faze him? If I tell him the Wi-Fi is down, he’s like, “It’s not a big deal.” Not a big deal? Sir, the Wi-Fi is life.
Meanwhile, I’m over here stressing about every minor inconvenience, and he’s just vibing, acting like the world isn’t falling apart.
10. The Food-Indecision Struggle
Me: “What do you want to eat?”
Him: “Anything’s fine.”
Me: “Okay, how about pizza?”
Him: “Nah, I’m not feeling pizza.”
This back-and-forth can last forever. At this point, I’d rather starve than argue about food for another minute.
The Love-Hate Balance
Despite all these things that drive me nuts, I know he means well. Sure, he’s not perfect, but neither am I. And maybe that’s what makes our relationship real.
Still, if he could just learn to put his socks in the laundry basket and remember our anniversary without setting a phone reminder, life would be a lot easier.
What about you? What drives you crazy about your boyfriend? Let’s hear it — I know I’m not the only one!