I’m 23, in a happy relationship, juggling a startup, indulging my love for singing and writing, and squeezing in outdoor adventures wherever possible. Life feels like a blend of endless chapters, each more vibrant than the last. But along the way, I’ve realized something: as women, we live in a world that is both deeply understood and frustratingly misunderstood — often by the men in our lives.
I want to address a few things about women that men often find perplexing. This isn’t about pointing fingers or assigning blame. Instead, it’s about creating space for better conversations, deeper connections, and a touch more empathy.
1. Our Emotions Aren’t Weaknesses
For years, society has painted emotions as a sign of fragility, especially when it comes to women. But emotions are not just tears or moments of vulnerability — they’re the raw, unfiltered essence of being alive.
I once had a moment during a pitch for my startup. My voice wavered, and I felt a lump in my throat. My male co-founder later asked, “Were you scared?” No, I wasn’t. I was passionate, deeply connected to what I was saying. But to him, it came across as fear because he saw emotion as something unstable, not powerful.
Men often misunderstand that when a woman cries, it’s not a breakdown — it’s an expression. Whether joy, anger, or exhaustion, we feel deeply, and that depth isn’t a problem; it’s a strength.
2. Independence Doesn’t Mean We Don’t Need You
Many men see a woman thriving on her own and think, Does she even need me? The short answer: yes, but not in the way you think.
Starting my own business has been a rollercoaster of independence, decision-making, and self-reliance. But do I still crave my partner’s support? Absolutely. Do I need someone to tell me it’s okay when I’m feeling overwhelmed? Without a doubt.
Independence and dependence aren’t opposites — they coexist. A woman can be fiercely independent and still want you to hold her hand when the world feels too heavy.
3. We Overthink — But Not Always for the Reasons You Think
It’s late, and your girlfriend texts, “We need to talk.” You freeze, thinking she’s upset. But sometimes, that line stems from her replaying a tiny moment in her head — something you probably didn’t even notice.
Overthinking is often misunderstood as insecurity. In reality, it’s care wrapped in curiosity. I’ll admit, I overthink a lot. Whether it’s picking the right tone for an email or remembering something my partner said a week ago, my mind doesn’t switch off easily.
But here’s the catch: overthinking isn’t about creating problems. It’s about wanting clarity, connection, and understanding.
4. Feminism Isn’t Anti-Men
As a woman passionate about equality, I’ve faced my fair share of awkward pauses when mentioning feminism. Many men think feminism means pushing them down to raise women up. It’s not.
Feminism is about balance, not battle. It’s about making sure the world I’m building my startup in doesn’t dismiss me just because I’m young and female. It’s about making sure my voice carries as much weight as anyone else’s in the room.
Feminism supports men too. It fights for a world where men can cry, feel vulnerable, or take a break without being labeled weak.
5. Our Silence Isn’t Always a Problem
Women are often expected to be communicative, expressive, and emotionally available at all times. But sometimes, silence doesn’t mean we’re angry or upset — it’s just our way of processing.
I remember a moment with my partner after a long, chaotic day. I barely spoke during dinner, and he eventually asked, “Did I do something wrong?” I hadn’t even realized my silence felt heavy to him. I was simply tired — mentally reorganizing my thoughts after a whirlwind of meetings and deadlines.
Men often mistake silence for punishment or disinterest, but for us, it’s often a form of self-care. Sometimes we need quiet to recharge, to sift through the chaos, or to find our center again. The best thing you can do in those moments? Just sit beside us. Your presence says more than words ever could.
6. Our Standards Aren’t Just About You
There’s a stereotype that women’s high standards are unreasonable or designed to control men. But here’s the truth: our standards aren’t about power — they’re about values.
Take my career, for example. Building a startup has taught me the importance of setting clear goals and boundaries. The same applies to my relationships. When I ask my partner to respect my time, my ambitions, or my boundaries, it’s not about controlling him. It’s about protecting my own sense of self.
Women set standards not to test men, but to ensure compatibility. And let’s be honest, we don’t hold anyone to higher standards than the ones we set for ourselves.
Being a woman often feels like walking a tightrope — balancing independence and vulnerability, strength and softness, expectations and authenticity. And while these complexities might seem bewildering to men, they’re what make us human.
Understanding women isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about being willing to learn, unlearn, and grow together. It’s about seeing us not as puzzles to be solved but as partners to be appreciated.
As I write this, I’m reminded of how grateful I am for the men in my life who’ve made the effort to understand. My partner, for instance, doesn’t always get it right, but he listens, he tries, and that’s what matters most.
So, to all the men reading this: thank you for trying. For showing up. For being part of a world where understanding goes both ways. Keep at it — we see you.
Women aren’t as complicated as they’re often made out to be — we’re simply layered, like the songs we sing, the books we read, and the lives we lead. Each layer tells a story, carries a scar, or holds a dream. To truly understand a woman is not to decode her but to respect her.
I’ve learn this even in my own relationship. My partner doesn’t try to “fix” things when I’m upset; he asks, “How can I support you?” He doesn’t expect me to be predictable or perfect; he embraces my quirks, my quiet moments, and my ambition.
For every man who feels like he’ll never understand women, remember this: it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being present. Listening when she speaks, supporting her when she falters, and celebrating her when she thrives.
In the end, understanding women isn’t about mastering a skill — it’s about growing a connection. And that’s not just something women appreciate — it’s something we cherish.
So here’s to the men who try, the women who inspire them, and the relationships built on mutual effort and love. May we all keep learning and loving, one beautiful, imperfect step at a time