Toxic Femininity: The Side of Womanhood I Can’t Stand
Toxic Femininity: The Side of Womanhood I Can’t Stand
As a 23-year-old woman navigating life, love, and building my own startup, I am fiercely proud of being a woman. Feminine energy is a powerful force — it nurtures, uplifts, and creates. But like anything powerful, when misused, it can also harm. While toxic masculinity has often been the centerpiece of societal conversations, it’s time we shed light on toxic femininity — a phenomenon I deeply despise.
This isn’t about tearing women down; it’s about confronting behaviors that don’t empower us but weaken our collective strength. It’s about questioning the toxic traits that mask themselves as “feminine power” but are anything but empowering.
1. Weaponizing Emotions
Crying to win an argument. Playing the victim to shift blame. Using silence or withdrawal as a form of punishment.
These behaviors aren’t just manipulative — they erode trust and intimacy in relationships. While emotions are a natural and beautiful part of being human, using them as tools of control turns something sacred into something weaponized.
I’ve seen women twist their tears to escape accountability, leaving the other person feeling trapped and powerless. This isn’t strength — it’s emotional manipulation disguised as vulnerability.
2. Gossip and Backhanded Competition
Toxic femininity thrives in spaces where women are taught to compete rather than collaborate. Gossiping about other women, subtly putting them down, or feigning “support” while secretly rooting for their failure is a damaging cycle.
I’ve experienced this firsthand — where a woman complimented my confidence in one breath but questioned my choices in the next. This kind of toxicity poisons friendships and diminishes our collective growth.
Instead of celebrating each other, we become part of the problem. Real feminine power lifts others up, not tears them down.
3. Relying on “Helplessness” for Advantage
I can’t stand the idea of pretending to be helpless to get what you want. Whether it’s faking incompetence at work to avoid responsibilities or playing dumb to attract a man, this behavior perpetuates harmful stereotypes about women.
It’s 2024. We are capable, intelligent, and strong. Feigning helplessness not only undermines the woman doing it but also chips away at the progress generations of women have fought for.
4. Shaming Other Women
The irony of toxic femininity is how it often turns against other women. Slut-shaming. Judging mothers for their parenting choices. Criticizing other women’s appearances or life paths.
Why do we do this to each other? It’s heartbreaking that some women believe tearing others down is a way to elevate themselves. But the truth is, dimming another’s light will never make yours shine brighter.
5. The “Good Girl” Syndrome
There’s this pervasive idea that being a woman means being “nice” at all costs. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t speak too loudly. Always be agreeable.
While kindness is a virtue, toxic femininity takes it to an extreme where women feel pressured to sacrifice their boundaries, their voice, and even their mental health to maintain an illusion of perfection. I’ve been there — biting my tongue to avoid conflict, apologizing when I wasn’t at fault, and prioritizing being “liked” over being authentic.
But let me tell you: there’s nothing empowering about losing yourself to please others.
6. Manipulative Use of Feminism
This one stings the most because I’m a proud supporter of feminism. But when feminism is twisted into a justification for toxic behavior, it loses its true meaning.
I’ve seen women use the “empowerment” narrative to justify selfishness, entitlement, or outright mistreatment of others. Feminism isn’t about domination — it’s about equality, respect, and lifting each other up, regardless of gender.
Why I Hate Toxic Femininity
Because it’s a betrayal — not just of others but of ourselves. Toxic femininity undermines the incredible power and beauty of being a woman. It replaces authenticity with manipulation, connection with competition, and empowerment with entitlement.
As someone who loves outdoor adventures, enjoys singing, and is fiercely chasing her dreams, I believe in embodying strength and compassion. Toxic femininity isn’t a reflection of who we truly are — it’s a distortion of our potential.
Can Do Anything
yes
Toxic femininity thrives in silence. The first step is acknowledging it, then actively choosing better. Here’s how:
- Celebrate other women’s successes.
- Hold yourself accountable for manipulative behaviors.
- Speak your truth, even if it’s uncomfortable.
- Embrace vulnerability, but don’t use it as a weapon.
Let’s redefine femininity in a way that’s powerful, genuine, and inclusive. Because when we step away from toxicity, we create space for the kind of strength that changes the world.