Dating A Woman With High Standards Avoid These Mistakes

Here’s What I Learned the Hard Way

Three years ago, she walked into the coffee shop wearing Louboutins and carrying a laptop covered in stickers from countries I couldn’t pronounce. That should’ve been my first clue. Two years of dating later, I learned more about myself than any self-help book could teach me. Here’s what dating a woman with sky-high standards really looks like — and the mistakes that eventually ended us.

Let me paint you a picture: It’s our third date, and I show up 10 minutes late, thinking that’s fashionably acceptable. She wasn’t there. One text message later: “I value my time. When you’re ready to value it too, let me know.” Ouch. But she was right.

That was the first lesson: High standards aren’t about designer labels or bank accounts — they’re about respect, integrity, and self-worth.

Here’s where I messed up first. I thought being “nice” was enough. You know the drill — remembering birthdays, holding doors open, sending good morning texts. Basic human decency stuff. But here’s what I didn’t get: women with high standards don’t want nice. They want exceptional.

I once brought her grocery store flowers. “Thank you,” she said, “but next time, notice what I actually like.” Turns out, she preferred plants. Living things that grow, just like she expected our relationship to.

The Authenticity Test

Remember that time I pretended to know about wine just to impress her? Yeah, big mistake. She didn’t care that I couldn’t tell a Merlot from a Malbec. She cared that I lied about it.

High-standard women have built-in BS detectors. They’d rather you say “I don’t know, but I’d love to learn” than pretend to be something you’re not.

“What are you reading right now?” became the question I dreaded most. Not because I don’t read, but because “scrolling through Reddit” wasn’t the answer she was looking for.

She wasn’t being elitist. She was looking for intellectual curiosity, for someone who challenged themselves to grow. I learned this too late: High standards aren’t about where you are, but whether you’re moving forward.

The Communication Breakdown

God, this one hurts to admit. I thought I was a good communicator because I replied to texts promptly. But when she said, “Let’s talk about where this is going,” I gave her vague answers about “seeing where things lead.”

High-standard women don’t play games. They want clear communication, defined intentions, and emotional intelligence. They’d rather hear an uncomfortable truth than a comfortable lie.

“Surprise me,” she said on her birthday. I asked what kind of surprise she wanted. Wrong move. Women with high standards aren’t looking for someone to follow their instructions — they want someone who pays attention and takes initiative.

The Comfort Zone Conflict

She was always pushing boundaries — trying new restaurants, planning spontaneous trips, learning new skills. Meanwhile, I was comfortable with our Netflix routine.

Here’s what I didn’t get: High standards mean constantly evolving. If you’re not growing together, you’re growing apart.

This was perhaps my biggest failure. She processed feelings, talked about deep issues, and expected the same level of emotional availability from me. Instead, I gave her the classic “I’m fine” when things weren’t fine.

High-standard women don’t want emotional walls. They want bridges.

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” wasn’t just a casual question — it was a compatibility test. She had goals, dreams, and a clear vision. I had… vibes.

The Truth About High Standards

Looking back now, those “impossible” standards weren’t impossible at all. They were a call to be better, to grow, to evolve. She didn’t expect perfection — she expected effort, growth, and authenticity.

The relationship ended not because her standards were too high, but because I wasn’t ready to rise to them. And you know what? That’s okay. She taught me that having high standards isn’t about making others feel small — it’s about knowing your worth and expecting others to know theirs too.

Here’s the irony: Now that I understand what it means to date someone with high standards, I’ve developed some of my own. And that’s perhaps the greatest gift she gave me — the understanding that standards aren’t walls to keep people out, but invitations to level up.

P.S. If you’re dating someone with high standards and feeling overwhelmed, remember: They chose you for a reason. Don’t try to lower their standards — rise to meet them.