Friendship, for many of us, is like a lifeline.
For someone like me, who identifies as an introvert, my best friend often represents a crucial connection to the outside world. So when he doesn’t pick up the phone, ignores my messages, or chooses to hang out with other friends without including me, it triggers a wave of anxiety and loneliness that’s hard to shake off.
It’s a feeling that creeps in, gnawing at my thoughts. I can’t help but think that my friend’s silence is a reflection of my worth or that I’m somehow less important to him than his other friends. The reality is, I often feel like I’m standing on the fringes of social life, waiting for validation that seems increasingly out of reach. This sense of isolation can be overwhelming. As an introvert, I tend to have a smaller circle, and the thought of losing even one close friend feels monumental.
I know that friendships ebb and flow; life gets busy, and people have their own commitments. Yet, the brain tends to overanalyze. Each time my phone buzzes with a notification, I find myself hoping it’s him. When it isn’t, I feel a pang of disappointment. It’s as if my mind automatically fills in the blanks with negative thoughts: “Does he not care about me? Am I not fun enough? What if he finds someone better?”
To cope with these feelings, I’ve recently tried to make myself busy.
Writing notes has become my refuge, a way to express my thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment. It helps me process my feelings and gives me a sense of control over the chaos in my mind. Reading books allows me to escape into different worlds, providing a distraction from the stress of my reality. And let’s not forget the comfort of Netflix — immersing myself in a good show can sometimes ease the sting of loneliness, if only for a while.
But deep down, I know I can’t fully ignore the reality of my feelings. It’s important for me to address my stress head-on rather than letting it fester. I remind myself that friendships, like all relationships, require effort and communication. I need to express my feelings to my friend instead of letting my worries spiral. It might not always be easy, especially as someone who tends to keep emotions bottled up, but being open about my feelings can help bridge the gap created by silence.
Ultimately, what weighs heavily on my heart is the fear of losing someone who means so much to me.
The thought of drifting apart fills me with an ache I can’t ignore. So, I’m learning that it’s okay to feel stressed and lonely at times; it’s part of being human. What matters is how I respond to those feelings — by seeking connection, communicating openly, and finding healthy outlets for my emotions.
While it’s tough when my best friend seems distant, I’m taking steps to remind myself that my worth isn’t tied to someone else’s availability. And perhaps, by focusing on my personal growth and interests, I’ll find a greater sense of fulfillment — whether he’s there or not.
I hope that, in time, my friend and I can reconnect, and our bond can grow even stronger through the trials we face.
Because at the end of the day, it’s the people we choose to keep close who shape our lives, and I’m determined to navigate this journey with an open heart.