Is sharing endless selfies empowerment or self-obsession? This is something I’ve been wondering about for a while. My girlfriend, for example, looks at influencers constantly, praising them for their confidence. But I can’t help but cringe when I see people post non-stop photos of themselves and call it empowerment.
I know, it doesn’t sound all that feminist to say this. After all, women should be able to share their bodies however they want, without being judged, right? But it feels off to me. It seems like, to be empowered, we’re being told we have to be a little obsessed with our bodies.
Am I wrong, or are we missing the bigger picture here?
If I don’t want it all to be about my body, then why am I making it all about my body?
Let’s be real: being a woman often means being judged based on appearance — whether that judgment is positive or negative. People feel entitled to comment on our bodies constantly. Are you hot or not? Too big or too small? Perfect or ugly? Proud or too much? And it seems like women bear the brunt of this scrutiny more than anyone else.
From a young age, we’re made hyper-aware of ourselves as objects of attention, whether we want that attention or not. It can feel overwhelming. Why can’t I wear what I want without worrying about the reactions it might provoke?
I understand why so many women want to reclaim their power by posting online. I get it, really. But does posting endless selfies really change the narrative? I’m not convinced. My girlfriend, for example, keeps scrolling, admiring these influencers. “She’s so confident,” she says. “I could never expose myself like that.”
But do we have to share so much of ourselves online to prove that we’re confident? It bothers me that we seem to need social media’s validation to feel good about ourselves. Does posting carefully curated photos actually show empowerment, or does it just reinforce the idea that our bodies are what define us?
How much “me” is too much “me”?
What concerns me is how much time we spend focused on our appearance — whether positively or negatively. If we’re constantly concerned with how we look, are we really breaking free from society’s judgment, or are we just reinforcing it?
We’re supposed to be more than just our bodies, right? So why is the conversation about confidence so often centered on our physical image?
I love my body for what it does for me, but I don’t need to plaster it all over the internet to feel empowered. I want people to feel my confidence when they’re with me, through how I carry myself, how I show compassion, how I stay grounded even when things are uncomfortable.
For me, a lot of the body positivity movement feels more like body obsession than genuine empowerment.
I think the focus should shift from how beautiful our bodies are to all the beautiful things about us beyond our bodies. Being accepted isn’t just about what we look like.
Kathy Parker, a writer who talks openly about trauma, body image, and self-worth, touches on this in her articles. She points out that even when we’re trying to push back against traditional beauty standards, we can still end up objectifying ourselves.
Her point? Just because we’re shifting the definition of what’s considered beautiful, it doesn’t mean we’re not still stuck on the idea that our bodies are what define us.
If you showed someone from 20 years ago what we’re doing now, they might think we’ve all become a bit narcissistic.
And honestly, would they be wrong?
A study from the University of Arkansas shows that millennials have become more narcissistic compared to previous generations. This rise in narcissism parallels the growing demand for mental health services on college campuses.
We spend so much time curating and sharing images of ourselves, but does that make us feel empowered, or does it make us more self-obsessed?
There’s nothing wrong with feeling good about how you look, but constantly needing to document your appearance for validation doesn’t feel like true empowerment to me. If you really don’t care about what others think, why post for an audience in the first place?
I don’t know, maybe I’m the crazy one.
As Kathy Parker says, “Objectification is still objectification, even if the bodies being objectified don’t fit into the traditional beauty ideals.”
In the end, I believe body positivity should go beyond just talking positively about ourselves. It should be about what we do for our bodies and how we cultivate a relationship with ourselves that isn’t based solely on how we look.
Maybe we’re still afraid of who we are without our bodies at the center of it all. Maybe, one day, we’ll be able to step off this crazy carousel and stop obsessing over our appearance.
Until then, I’ll keep asking myself: does this culture of endless selfies really make us feel better about ourselves, or is it just another way to seek approval?
And while my girlfriend might feel that pressure to join in, I hope she knows she doesn’t have to. Confidence doesn’t come from the number of photos you post — it comes from how you feel inside. And that’s something you can’t capture in a selfie.