It’s exhausting.
Scrolling through social media as a woman can feel like walking into a room full of uninvited opinions. The moment you post a picture or video — whether it’s a gym selfie, a beach shot, or even a fully professional outfit — there’s always that one comment (or 50) from men who think they’re fashion critics, moral police, or worse, entitled to an opinion on your choices.
It’s exhausting.
As a 23-year-old navigating both the digital world and real life, I’ve witnessed this not only in my own experiences but also in the lives of the women around me. It’s infuriating how a simple choice of clothing can become a debate topic for strangers online, most of whom don’t even know you.
Here’s the thing: women’s clothes are their clothes. Not a public invitation for commentary. Yet, some men seem to think otherwise.
I remember posting a picture after a trekking trip — a proud moment for me because I love outdoor activities, and that climb was tough. But instead of comments about the hike or the stunning view, I got, “Isn’t that outfit too revealing for the mountains?”
I was floored. First of all, it wasn’t. Second, why does it matter? Did the trekking trail complain?
Men often claim these comments come from a place of concern or morality. But let’s be honest: it’s control disguised as care.
The Hypocrisy of It All
What baffles me most is the double standard. Men can post shirtless gym selfies, show off their abs, and wear whatever they want without sparking a debate about modesty or morality. But when a woman does the same? Suddenly, the internet feels the need to remind her of its unsolicited dress code.
This hypocrisy isn’t just annoying — it’s suffocating. Women are expected to live up to society’s beauty standards while simultaneously being shamed for embracing them. It’s a lose-lose situation that keeps us walking on eggshells, even in digital spaces meant for self-expression.
My Boyfriend Gets It
I’m lucky to have a partner who truly understands me. He doesn’t just avoid commenting on my choices — he supports them wholeheartedly. If I wear something that makes me feel confident, his response is simple: “You look great.” No judgment, no hidden meaning, just love and acceptance.
Why can’t more men be like this? Why is it so hard to respect women’s autonomy over their own bodies and choices?
Why Do Men Feel Entitled to Comment?
To tackle the why behind this, we have to look at the deep-seated cultural conditioning many men grow up with. Historically, society has handed men the role of “protectors” and “guardians of morality,” while women have been painted as beings whose value is tied to modesty or appearance.
Even today, this mindset lingers, especially online, where anonymity amplifies audacity. Many men feel justified in commenting on women’s clothes because they’ve been taught — subtly or overtly — that they’re entitled to have a say. They might frame it as “looking out for you” or “just being honest,” but let’s call it what it is: control.
It’s a reflection of a bigger issue — women’s autonomy is still a concept some people can’t wrap their heads around.
Now, let’s talk about what these constant comments do to women. Imagine waking up, feeling good about yourself, and sharing a piece of that joy online, only to be met with criticism or objectification.
I’ve had days where one unwelcome comment completely overshadowed dozens of kind words. It’s not just about the words themselves; it’s the implication that your choices are up for debate — that your confidence is a fragile thing others feel entitled to poke at.
Women start second-guessing their wardrobe choices, wondering if it’s worth the trouble to wear what they love. This isn’t just an online issue — it spills over into real life, affecting how we see ourselves and interact with the world.
So, how do we shift this narrative? It starts with men taking responsibility for their behavior online. It’s not enough to say “not all men” — because while that may be true, the ones who do comment about women’s clothes are loud enough to cast a shadow over the rest.
Here’s what needs to happen:
- Think Before Commenting
Before typing out that “advice” or “concern,” ask yourself: Is this helpful? Is it respectful? Would I say this to her face? If the answer to any of these is no, keep scrolling. - Call Out Toxic Behavior
If you see someone leaving inappropriate comments, don’t stay silent. Challenge them. Silence allows this behavior to thrive. - Normalize Autonomy
Respect that women don’t owe anyone an explanation for their choices. Period.
What Keeps Me Hopeful
While the internet can be toxic, it’s also a place where conversations like this can spark change. For every judgmental comment, there’s often a community of supportive voices willing to drown it out.
And honestly, my relationship gives me hope. My boyfriend’s respect for my choices isn’t just refreshing — it’s a reminder that men can unlearn toxic patterns. He listens, supports, and never tries to police what I wear.
If he can do it, why can’t others?
So, let me ask you: Do you think we’re on the brink of change, or is this fight just beginning? Should I keep diving into what women can do to reclaim their spaces online, or does this feel like a good place to pause? Let me know!