Why choosing kindness matters more than we think?
I still remember sitting in my moral education class, eyes on the chalkboard where the word “kindness” was written in big, bold letters. We were learning about baik hati, which means kindness in our language, yet at that age, the words felt distant. We focused on definitions and memorization, not realizing the weight they would carry in our lives.
Looking back now, I realize how those early lessons left an impression, even if we didn’t fully understand them at the time. That’s the quiet power of education. Done right, it doesn’t just teach us facts — it plants seeds that grow into the values that guide us through life.
Growing up, kindness was a constant theme in my family. My mother, especially, believed in choosing kindness above all else. If you had the power to make someone’s day better, why wouldn’t you? She often reminded me, “We don’t know what others are going through. Small gestures can mean the world to someone.”
One day, my mother noticed that one of my classmates, a girl I didn’t know too well, had to wake up before dawn to catch a bus to school. Without a second thought, she offered to drive her to school every morning. I wasn’t particularly close to this classmate, and it wasn’t like my mother was expecting anything in return. She did it because, to her, that was the right thing to do. The experience left a mark on me. It taught me that kindness doesn’t need justification; it doesn’t need to be reserved for close friends or people we know well. It’s something you give freely, no strings attached.
And isn’t that the essence of kindness? True kindness doesn’t look for applause or even recognition. It’s about being compassionate, knowing that everyone we encounter is carrying a load we may not see. A kind word, a smile, an extra tip to a barista — these small actions can make someone’s day, maybe even turn it around.
Of course, the world isn’t perfect. Not every person will appreciate or even recognize your kindness. Some might even take advantage of it. But choosing kindness doesn’t mean letting others walk over you. It’s not about sacrificing your well-being to please others. Boundaries are important, and giving too much can be exhausting. But living with a mindset that looks for reasons to help rather than reasons to hold back makes the world a more hopeful place. Imagine if everyone did one small thing to lift someone else up each day. It would create a ripple effect, spreading kindness and positivity.
One of the toughest places to choose kindness is during an argument. When emotions are high, it’s easy to say things we later regret. Words, once spoken, can’t be taken back. They can cut deep and leave lasting scars. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is pause, take a breath, and choose a gentler response. You don’t have to let others walk over you, but you can still stand your ground without tearing others down. Kindness doesn’t mean you agree with everyone or let everything slide; it’s about choosing to approach situations with empathy and respect.
It’s also about knowing that kindness doesn’t always need a reason. You might never see the effects of a kind act, but the impact is there. Maybe the person you helped will go on to help someone else, creating a chain reaction that extends far beyond what you can see. That’s the beauty of kindness — it’s like planting a seed in the dark, trusting that someday it will bloom, even if it’s in someone else’s garden.
And kindness can heal too, even in difficult relationships. There are times when people hurt us, intentionally or unintentionally. Our instinct might be to retaliate, but instead, imagine responding with kindness. It doesn’t mean you have to continue the relationship, especially if it’s harmful, but by parting on good terms, you create peace for yourself as well. When you choose kindness over resentment, you free yourself from bitterness. There’s a saying, “Kill them with kindness,” but it’s not about revenge; it’s about letting go with grace and moving forward without carrying the weight of negativity.
At the end of the day, kindness is a choice, one that often asks for courage and compassion. It doesn’t mean we’ll be thanked every time, and it doesn’t mean that kindness will always be returned to us immediately. But the kindness you put into the world has a way of coming back, sometimes in ways you don’t expect. And even if it doesn’t, choosing kindness feels better than choosing anger or resentment. It feels lighter, and in this often heavy world, that lightness is a gift to ourselves as much as it is to others.
So here’s my wish: that we all choose kindness whenever possible. Even in the smallest of ways, it’s worth it.
Because a world filled with kindness is a world filled with hope, and that is something worth striving for.