Success stories are everywhere—billionaires, athletes, and influencers sharing their “secrets” to making it big. From YouTube interviews to bestselling books, advice from the successful seems like a roadmap to achieving your own goals. But what if I told you that taking advice from successful people might actually be holding you back?
It sounds counterintuitive, right? After all, who wouldn’t want to learn from the best? But here’s the truth: success stories are often misleading, incomplete, and based on circumstances that can’t be replicated. In this article, I’ll explain why blindly following advice from the successful can be dangerous and what you should do instead to carve your own path.
The Survivorship Bias Trap
One of the biggest problems with taking advice from successful people is something called survivorship bias. This is a cognitive bias where we focus only on the people who have “survived” or succeeded in a given situation, while ignoring those who didn’t make it. We assume that because these individuals succeeded, their actions or decisions must be the key to success.
But here’s the thing: for every success story, there are countless others who followed the same steps but failed. We just don’t hear about them. The successful people we admire might tell us to work hard, take risks, or never give up, but many others who did the same ended up with nothing to show for it.
For example, Steve Jobs is often cited as a genius entrepreneur, and many people try to emulate his bold decisions and leadership style. But we forget that for every Steve Jobs, there are hundreds of other tech founders who took similar risks and failed. Focusing only on the winners gives us a skewed version of reality.
Luck Plays a Bigger Role Than You Think
When successful people share their stories, they often highlight the hard work, determination, and strategies that got them to the top. But what they rarely talk about is luck. The reality is that luck—timing, circumstances, and sheer randomness—plays a significant role in success.
Consider someone like Mark Zuckerberg. Sure, he was smart and hardworking, but he also launched Facebook at the perfect time, in a place (Harvard) filled with early adopters, and in a cultural moment when social media was just starting to explode. If Zuckerberg had been born 10 years earlier or in a different country, would Facebook even exist? Probably not.
Successful people often downplay how much luck factored into their achievements because it doesn’t make for a compelling story. But luck is unpredictable and uncontrollable, which means trying to replicate someone else’s path to success is like rolling the dice.
The Unique Context of Every Success
Success is deeply contextual. What worked for one person may not work for another because everyone’s starting point is different. Successful people often fail to acknowledge the unique advantages they had—whether it’s their social network, financial backing, or the era they were born in.
Let’s take Elon Musk, for example. He’s hailed as a visionary entrepreneur, but it’s important to remember that he grew up in South Africa to a wealthy family, had access to a strong education, and moved to the U.S. during the tech boom. He had a unique combination of circumstances that allowed him to take risks and innovate in ways that many others couldn’t. While his determination and ambition were crucial, so were his specific resources and environment.
When you try to follow the advice of someone like Musk without accounting for your own circumstances, you risk setting yourself up for failure. What worked for him won’t necessarily work for you.
The Advice Is Often Too Vague to Be Useful
Have you ever noticed that a lot of advice from successful people tends to be vague and generalized? “Work hard,” “Follow your passion,” “Take risks,” “Never give up”—these are the kind of phrases you hear over and over again. While they sound inspiring, they don’t provide specific guidance on how to deal with the challenges most people face.
Let’s break it down:
“Work hard” – What does this actually mean? Is it about working long hours, or working smart? How do you know when you’re working too hard and burning out?
“Follow your passion” – What if you don’t know what your passion is? Or what if your passion isn’t financially viable?
“Take risks” – How much risk is too much? How do you balance risk with stability?
“Never give up” – Sometimes quitting is the smartest thing you can do, but this advice suggests persistence at all costs.
These platitudes sound good, but they often ignore the complexities and nuances of real-life situations. Success isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula, and following generic advice can leave you feeling more confused than inspired.
What You Should Do Instead: Learn from Failures
If advice from successful people is flawed, then who should you take advice from? The answer is simple: people who have failed. While it’s easy to romanticize success, it’s failure that teaches us the most valuable lessons. Those who have failed know what mistakes to avoid, what pitfalls to watch out for, and how to adapt when things don’t go as planned.
Failure provides insight into the harsh realities of the journey, whereas success often glosses over the struggles. By learning from the failures of others, you can better prepare yourself for your own challenges.
For example, instead of reading yet another book on how a billionaire became rich, read the stories of failed startups. Understand what went wrong and how you can avoid those same mistakes. Pay attention to people who are willing to admit their shortcomings and struggles, as they are often the ones who provide the most useful advice.
Focus on Building Your Own Playbook
Ultimately, the best advice is the kind you create for yourself. Your circumstances, skills, and goals are unique, and so should be your approach to success. Instead of following someone else’s playbook, focus on building your own by experimenting, learning, and adapting along the way.
Here are a few tips to get started:
1. Experiment – Don’t be afraid to try different approaches and strategies. Success rarely comes from following a straight path.
2. Learn from your own failures – When things don’t go as planned, reflect on what happened and adjust your approach. Failure is an opportunity for growth.
3. Seek out diverse perspectives – Instead of looking to a single successful person as a role model, gather advice from a range of people, including those who have struggled and failed.
4. Trust your instincts – No one knows your situation better than you do. While it’s helpful to gather advice, don’t ignore your own gut feelings.
Success is Personal
The next time you hear someone preaching about the secret to their success, take it with a grain of salt. While there’s always something to learn from other people’s experiences, remember that their path isn’t yours. Success is deeply personal, shaped by countless factors including timing, context, and, yes, luck.
Rather than trying to copy someone else’s formula, focus on building your own strategy. Learn from your own failures and those of others. Gather diverse perspectives. And most importantly, trust yourself—because no one knows what will work for you better than you do.