How to Make Someone Addicted to You
Addiction. It sounds intense, doesn’t it? But when it comes to love and connection, it’s not about manipulation or playing games — it’s about creating such a magnetic presence that the person can’t help but crave your energy, your vibe, and, let’s be real, you.
As a 23-year-old juggling a startup, singing, writing, and outdoor adventures, I know a thing or two about building relationships that stick. My boyfriend? He understands me like no one else, but here’s a little secret: I made sure he couldn’t stop thinking about me first. Want to know how? Let’s dive in.
1. Be Your Most Authentic Self
This might sound like cliché advice, but hear me out: there’s nothing more addictive than someone who is unapologetically themselves. Confidence isn’t about being perfect; it’s about embracing your quirks.
For me, it was my random love for singing to my dog at midnight or dragging my boyfriend on spontaneous hikes because “the view will be worth it, trust me!” These moments aren’t curated — they’re me. And that’s the magic.
When you show someone the real you, it sets you apart in a world full of masks. Trust me, they’ll keep coming back for more.
2. Create a Signature Memory
If you want someone to be addicted to you, give them a moment they’ll associate with just you. I call this “creating a signature memory.”
For my boyfriend, it was dedicating a song to him on a random Tuesday. I wasn’t performing on stage or anything — just me, a guitar, and a lot of off-key notes. But he smiled like I’d just handed him the world. To this day, he teases me about it, but I know it’s one of his favorite memories.
Find your thing — a shared joke, a unique nickname, or even a tradition like Sunday morning pancakes. These little rituals become the glue in your bond.
3. Make Them Feel Like a Hero
Here’s the thing about people: we all want to feel needed. It’s not about being helpless — it’s about letting someone know they add value to your life.
For instance, I’m super independent, but I still lean on my boyfriend for things that make him feel appreciated. Like when my laptop has a meltdown, I could Google the solution, but instead, I call him. Why? Because he loves being the problem-solver, and it strengthens our connection.
Letting someone feel like they make a difference in your life is incredibly powerful.
4. Be Their Safe Haven
The world is loud, chaotic, and sometimes downright overwhelming. You can be the calm in their storm.
When my boyfriend is stressed from work, I don’t throw solutions at him. Instead, I listen, crack a silly joke, or just sit quietly with him until he’s ready to talk. Being someone’s safe space doesn’t mean fixing all their problems — it means letting them know they don’t have to face them alone.
5. Stay Mysterious, but in a Playful Way
You know that saying, “Leave them wanting more”? It’s real, and it works. A little mystery isn’t about hiding who you are — it’s about keeping things exciting.
When my boyfriend and I started dating, I’d randomly mention little snippets about myself, like the time I almost got lost on a solo hike or how I secretly love cheesy rom-coms. He’d be like, “Wait, what? Tell me more!” And sometimes, I wouldn’t — right away, at least.
It’s not about playing hard to get; it’s about pacing. Share your layers over time, and let them feel like discovering you is a journey worth taking.
6. Show Up for Them in Ways That Matter
There’s nothing more addictive than someone who shows up. Not just physically, but emotionally.
When my boyfriend had a big presentation at work, I sent him a small voice note that said, “You’ve got this. You’re amazing.” It took me all of 30 seconds, but it made his entire day.
People don’t get addicted to someone who’s only around when it’s convenient. They fall for those who show up consistently and make them feel like they matter.
7. Surprise Them — But Keep It Genuine
Routine is comforting, but surprises? They’re thrilling.
One weekend, I planned a surprise camping trip for my boyfriend. He had no idea until we were halfway there, and when we finally set up camp under the stars, he said, “This is one of the coolest things anyone’s ever done for me.”
Surprises don’t have to be extravagant. It could be a handwritten note, their favorite snack waiting for them, or even a playlist you made just for them. It’s the thought behind it that counts.
8. Understand Them Like No One Else Does
This is the ultimate secret sauce. When you understand someone — really understand them — you create a connection that’s hard to break.
I know my boyfriend hates overcooked pasta, prefers quiet mornings over chaotic ones, and has a secret love for 90s rock music. When you pay attention to the little things, it shows you care on a deeper level.
Ask questions, listen to their answers, and remember the details. Over time, you’ll become the one person who “just gets them,” and trust me, that’s addictive.
Making someone addicted to you isn’t about manipulation or tricks — it’s about creating a bond so real and magnetic that they can’t imagine life without you. And the best part? When it’s done right, it’s a two-way street.