Let me start by saying that I’m writing this piece not to stir up controversy or blame one gender over another. Instead, I want to share some thoughts that have been on my mind lately, as I observe how society is evolving, especially when it comes to the dynamics between men and women. Specifically, I believe there’s a growing imbalance, and that imbalance is hurting both men and women. I think women need to respect men more, just as men should continue respecting women. But let me explain why.
We live in a world that’s drastically different from just a decade or two ago. The rise of feminism has done incredible things — women today are empowered in ways that weren’t possible for previous generations. As a man, I wholeheartedly support that. I’ve seen firsthand how opportunities for women in education, careers, and leadership roles have expanded. And that’s fantastic. We needed these changes. But here’s where I get a little hesitant.
Somewhere along the way, the narrative shifted from empowering women to tearing men down. It’s like the pendulum has swung so far in one direction that it’s now tilting toward a sense of hostility. This has given birth to what I call “fake feminism” — a distorted version of feminism that doesn’t promote equality but fosters resentment toward men.
As a man, I’ll be honest: it’s disheartening. And I know I’m not alone in feeling this. Many men, myself included, are just trying to be decent human beings. But when the cultural message constantly depicts men as the problem — whether it’s through media, conversations, or online spaces — it’s tough not to feel misunderstood. There’s a growing fear among men of being labeled as toxic or inherently bad just because of our gender. That’s painful. And I think that’s where respect comes in.
Where Did the Respect Go?
I’ve encountered women who genuinely seem to believe that all men are trash. While I get that this frustration often stems from personal experiences with bad relationships or poor treatment by certain men, it’s unfair to paint all men with the same brush. There are plenty of men who respect women, who support women, and who fight for equality alongside them. But when respect is a one-way street, it creates a toxic environment for both genders.
What’s the result? Men become defensive, withdraw, or become indifferent. They feel like they have to constantly prove they’re “not like the others,” and even when they do, it sometimes feels like it’s never enough. And this isn’t just bad for men — it’s bad for women too. When men feel unsupported or disrespected, it impacts relationships, friendships, and even how men engage in public discourse about equality.
Respect Is a Two-Way Street
Now, let me make something clear. Respect is not something men are owed simply because they exist, nor do I believe that women should tolerate disrespect from men. This is not an article about men deserving respect without earning it. This is about mutual respect.
There are plenty of men who absolutely need to do better when it comes to how they treat women. We can’t deny the existence of sexism, harassment, and all the other issues that women still face. But, in the same breath, there’s an expectation for women to acknowledge that not every man is part of the problem. When women lump all men into a category of being inherently disrespectful, it’s damaging to the very cause they fight for.
Mutual respect is key. It means understanding that both men and women have been shaped by the societies they live in, and neither gender is perfect. We’ve all made mistakes, said the wrong things, and been guilty of bias at some point in our lives. The point isn’t to keep score, but to grow, listen, and evolve together.
The Fake Feminism Problem
I mentioned “fake feminism” earlier, and I want to clarify what I mean by that. Real feminism is about equality — empowering women while also fostering an environment where men and women are treated with the same dignity. Fake feminism, however, is what we see online: where men are belittled, mocked, or treated as though their emotions or struggles don’t matter.
For instance, when men talk about issues like mental health, job stress, or emotional struggles, it’s sometimes dismissed with comments like, “Man up” or “Men have it easy, so why are you complaining?” But here’s the reality: men have struggles too. The weight of being the breadwinner, societal expectations of masculinity, and the pressure to always “have it together” can take a real toll.
Dismissing these struggles because they don’t fit into the narrative of female empowerment does no one any favors. Women deserve respect, and so do men. We can fight for equality while also acknowledging the struggles each gender faces.
Let’s Find Balance
Ultimately, I believe the future lies in balance. We need to foster a society where both men and women are respected for who they are, not just their gender. This means acknowledging the pain and frustration on both sides. Women have been oppressed, and that’s undeniable. But men are also feeling the sting of a culture that increasingly views them with suspicion or disdain.
Let’s support real feminism, which is about equality, respect, and empowerment for everyone. Let’s push for a society where both men and women are free to express themselves without fear of judgment. And most importantly, let’s remember that respect is something we all need, no matter who we are.
Respect isn’t a one-sided deal. It’s something we have to give to receive. And if we can start respecting each other as humans first, maybe we can finally get to a place of true equality.
A Personal Reflection
I remember a time not too long ago when I found myself in a conversation with a close female friend. We were discussing gender roles and societal expectations, and at one point, I expressed some frustrations about how men are often perceived today. I wasn’t looking for sympathy, but I did want to be understood. Instead of dismissing my feelings or shifting the focus, she listened. She acknowledged that men, like women, have their own struggles, many of which are overlooked. That conversation made me realize the power of mutual respect. She wasn’t trying to invalidate my experience, nor was I trying to undermine hers. We both understood that our struggles were different, but equally real.
It’s moments like these that remind me how essential it is to keep these conversations balanced. Both men and women face challenges rooted in societal expectations. Women are constantly battling sexism and discrimination, and men are struggling with emotional burdens that aren’t often talked about. If we can start seeing each other as allies rather than adversaries, we’ll find common ground, and respect will come naturally.