We have all been in situations where we like someone, but there is a catch to it! -there is a dilemma between the mind and the soul
Liking someone can be as therapeutic as getting your first century while playing cricket or having your favourite playlist being played without ad breaks, it can feel like you are the top of the world but sometimes it may have an end that you could have never imagined.
“They say love glows you, it fills your heart, lightens up your eyes with joy and enriches your soul “
But what if what you experience is just a honeymoon phase? What if you give it your all and it doesn’t work at the end? What if the person who cherished you for your childish behaviour calls you immature?
You break! Every part of you breaks like a glass on the floor that breaks into unimaginable tiny particles that are unseen and that cannot be mended!
That’s what happened with me. Yes! a strong, fierce, independent girl turned into a weak, emotional, dependent woman. But that wasn’t the catch because the downside lies not in the efforts you have to put to get yourself back but in the long hours you have to spend crying, Innumerable days where you feel aimless, degraded with no self worth, dark nights where you question yourself-why and how did it all happen? Was it that invisible?
Well the real struggle is here! While the mind says to leave the situation and reminsce the old you- which was powerful like the winds, who was a part of God, prettier than everybody else, who could light up the room just by her presence and put efforts to become that again,
The heart wants answers-
1)why again me God?
2) Aren’t we done with the tests of life?
3) do I even deserve a good man?
4) will the love eventually fall upon me? Or it would all be again a mirage of mixed signals?
5) Will I be enough again?
6) what about my goals? How am I again going to focus on my ambitions that are lost?
and when you console yourself, a question pops up-But what about the time and energy I spent on him? What about the goodness that seemed so genuine in him? Was it all a facade?
whenever the mind chooses to move forward, the heart reminds you of the beautiful moments you spent together smiling and laughing, of all the cute nicknames he used to call you, of all the late night conversations, of all the times he understood you more than anybody else, of how he loved all sides of you
And then you ask yourself-“should I go back?I mean this is what love is na? All our movies told us that! That staying to get her after vigorous fights kinda love”
The mind stays back and the heart dominates! You say sorry for things you didn’t do, you communicate them your expectations but to the destiny, it happens all over again!
you keep on forgiving till he tells you-“say sorry to yourself” And “I can leave you, why can’t you? “
The tussle of mind and heart continues till one day you wake up and you realise how pretty you look, how people adore you, how the universe shows you that you are his favourite child!
BUT how does it happen? Well, when you actually say sorry to yourself and start forgiving yourself my love! The universe conspires the best for you but only, only when you believe you are the best!
The heart shall forever dominate but only where it aligns with the mind, where it is cared for like a beautiful child!
So Today, you need to forgive yourself.